


102

by BubblegumCat



Series: You Are The Music While The Music Lasts [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, jean pines over marco, marco is oblivious, sadness ensues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblegumCat/pseuds/BubblegumCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'But on this shirt, I found your smell, and I just sat there for ages contemplating what to do with myself'</p><p>Jean is madly in love with his best friend Marco, but he can't tell him, because he really believes Marco doesn’t feel the same way about him. So Jean just keeps it in and tries to be as good a friend as possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	102

"Penny for your thoughts?" Marco's gentle voice jolts me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I have to fight to keep the mild panic from showing on my face, because as usual it's him in my thoughts, and I can't tell him I was thinking about tracing my fingers across all the freckles on his face. "Oh I was just uh- thinking about what movie to watch tonight." Marco smiles softly.

"You always were a terrible liar, but hey I'm not gonna push you to talk about anything. Just know that I'm here." He gives me this reassuring smile, and my heart melts like a wax crayon on a radiator.

We're sitting outside, stretched out on our usual wooden bench, the one that’s dedicated to someone called William Johansson (who's "forever in our hearts and minds" apparently) by the front of the local shop. It's evening, pretty gloomy - it's been raining all day but it's eased off a lot now, so everywhere smells damp and more alive somehow. Everything's tinged grey, like the world is in black and white, save for the scarlet jumper Marco's swathed in.

I've been chain smoking, already finished over half of this pack that I only bought an hour ago, and he's been telling me all sorts of stuff. Sometimes he gets in these really chatty moods, and so I just sit and listen to him. I don't mind, not at all. I'd sit and listen to him for hours. And that's a big fucking deal, because most of the time I'm a grumpy asshole who barely has time for anyone.

"I guess I've just been a bit worried about my parents," I tell him, both to kinda throw him off the scent and because I really have been thinking about them, and he's one of the only people I can actually talk to about it. "I think they're gonna split up for real this time. I know they keep saying it, but this time dad's been away for over a week. He usually always comes back after a week or so. So I'm just, scared. That this time he's- he's not gonna show up at all."

Marco hums lowly. "Well, it might be better for them to be apart. They do fight quite a lot, and so being apart could make them happier, and give them a chance to cool down. To really think about what they want and what would be best for them both. Then when they've figured out their heads they can decide what to do for the best. You know?" He runs his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "Just give it time Jean, I'm sure it will work out for the best either way."

I nod, feeling reassured already. Honestly just hearing his voice helps. He could say anything at all and I'd feel better, because it's him, it's just his way. Although what he says usually helps as well. He just seems to genuinely care, and that's something that's been pretty tricky for me to find.

He starts talking again, about this latest guy he met the other day who he's been kind of having a thing with, and I sit back to listen as he gushes about how defined his back is and the sharpness of his jawline. I've gotten to get pretty good at hiding how much it bothers me. It used to make me want to rip all my skin off, but now it's more of a sickly dull ache in my chest. As long as he's happy, that's what I tell myself, as I put on a smile and he excitedly yaps on about this dude.

~~

When I get in I yell a hello to my mum, who's probably home somewhere, and head straight to my bedroom to collapse on my bed. I love hanging out with Marco, believe me I do, but it can be a bit exhausting hiding how much of a fuck I give about him.

I roll from where I landed on my face onto my back, and my head lolls to the side. The bed is covered in clothes, because I am one of if not the messiest person in the entire world. Not even an exaggeration. My mum's given up on me. I bury my head into a tshirt crumpled up next to me, and it smells so familiar, and I realise it's Marco. It's Marco's smell. I sit bolt upright, willing myself not to do what I desperately want to do, and yep I can't not. I reach behind me and grab it, and tug my shirt over my head to pull this one on.

I slide onto the floor, leaning against my bed with my legs pressed up against my chest, and I just sit there, wondering what the fuck I'm gonna do.


End file.
